Purging Personal Poltergeists
(A Pastor for 3
days)
What is a poltergeist:
A poltergeist (German for "noisy ghost") is a type of ghost or other supernatural being supposedly
responsible for physical disturbances such as loud noises and objects moved
around or destroyed. Poltergeists occupy numerous niches in cultural folklore, and have
traditionally been described as troublesome spirits who haunt a particular person instead of a
specific location.
The story I am about to
tell happened in January of 1995 … that’s 20 years ago (as of 10/2014). The
events associated with this moment in my past forever changed how I formulate
decisions of life. You may be wondering
why I have chosen to keep this ghost/demon caged up within myself for that long. Well … recently I have been exposed to more
and more stories like mine. Tragic
stories of haunted individuals and families who have been let down by their
spiritual leaders of the faith, leaders they trusted to guide them as they
began their various ministries. When my
children (and many others close to me) read this, it will be the first time
they have been exposed to the details of this important, and may I say,
supernatural event in our lives. Andrea
was eighteen months old and Connor had yet to be born.
My story is not
necessarily an indictment upon individuals; however, it is a denunciation upon
how we (the institutional church) go about doing things as it pertains to
developing and mentoring potential spiritual leaders.
My story also reveals
what is necessary to be in a position to be called a genuine spiritual
leader. It has to do with the Biblical
stages of spiritual growth. In the Bible
(revealed by Paul, Timothy, Peter, and even the nation of Israel) there are
seven basic stages of spiritual growth.
In order they are: a babe, a little child, a child, a young
man, a father, an elder, and the aged.
These stages are all important if one is to truly be in the position to
mentor others in the faith as a spiritual leader. There was a pivotal time in my ministry that
I needed this relationship with a “father,” or an “elder.” Sadly, no help was available until a year
after this saga begins.
The stage Karen and I
were about to experience was level 5 of spiritual growth, otherwise called
separation and reconciliation (father). It
is at this stage that true spiritual leadership is born. It is at this point that we learned to put
our hands to the plow and never turn back.
It is at this point that one begins to learn what it means to truly live
by faith. You see, until one reaches
stage five of spiritual growth (separation and reconciliation) they are of no
concern to Satan and his plans. However,
once a person seeks to grow beyond being a spiritual “young man” and become a
spiritual “father” to others, the true spiritual battle begins.
My narrative begins in late 1993. It was at this moment in time that I, through
various circumstances, became convinced that God was moving my ministry in
another direction. I had ministered in
churches since 1987 as a Youth Pastor, Assistant Pastor, Minister of Education,
Couples Pastor, Young Adults Pastor, Athletic Director, and coached soccer and
basketball … as well as taught in three different Christian Schools. I met with the pastor of the church where I
was ministering and shared my heart with him about starting a church. Through many conversations we decided that
the fall of 1995 would be an appropriate time to plan on beginning this
endeavor.
I subsequently went to
the next NC/SC Fellowship meeting in Raleigh, NC in order to present my desire
to the executive board. I was confident
that the Lord was prompting me to begin a church in Greenville NC. I arrived at
the meeting and met with the executive members of the NC/SC Fellowship and
specifically shared my goals and desires with them. I didn’t want to plan a move until I had a
method by with to support my family. They unanimously decided to present me to
the rest of the pastors that evening and approve me for support at $250 a week
for one year. I knew that this amount
would not be enough to sustain my family, but I also knew that it would go a
long way in helping whatever job I could come up with meet our financial needs. I expressed this to the executive board and
they were in agreement. The vote among
the pastors was unanimous in approving me for one year support to build a
church.
This is when things became interesting. I was always taught to pay attention to where
God is moving and join him. And some
interesting events starting taking shape immediately. After the Fellowship vote a group of pastors
pulled me aside and began earnestly persuading me to change my plans from going
to Greenville, NC and check out a church in South Charlotte, NC. The current pastor had been at the given
location for over 30 years (one of the pastors talking to me had been on staff
there in his early years) and was contemplating retirement. There had been nobody saved or baptize in
that church for over ten years. It was
time for a breath of life. They saw me
as a person who could go in and revitalize a failing church. The building was paid off and had room to
comfortably grow to over 500. There was
a base of about 30 people. It was in a
rural area, but an area that was going to grow.
And for sure, twenty years later, it is one of the fastest growing multicultural
areas in Charlotte.
I called Karen and told
her what the pastors had shared with me; we decided I should at least check it
out. After the meeting I left for
Charlotte. The men who had talked with
me said they would call the pastor of the church in South Charlotte and explain
to him why I was coming. I met with the
pastor the next day and had an amazing conversation about the history of the
church and plans for the future. I preached at the church and had a wonderful
response from the people. It was exciting.
God seemed to be all over the situation.
I called the pastors that had encouraged me to go there; they were optimistic
also.
A few months after
coming back from the trip to Charlotte, the pastor of the church where I was
ministering said that he wanted to move the time table up to January of 2015,
instead of the fall of 2015, as we had prayed about, planned, and
discussed. He wanted to hire someone to
replace me and needed to free up some money so he could bring him on for the
amount he was asking. In fact, he had to
get rid of two of us that were on staff in order to bring on this one
individual (that’s another horror story we don’t have time for now). I viewed this as Satan trying to sidetrack me
from the amazing things that were taking place in Charlotte. The pastor said he would give us a lump sum
of money if we would go in January instead of waiting until the fall of
2015. So, with the support of the Fellowship
of pastors in NC/SC, and the pleading of leading pastor of that very same
fellowship (of whom I had regular contact) to go to Charlotte, I believed this
to be God’s direction.
The day we were planning for finally arrived. It was Saturday, December 31st of
1994. We packed up our belongings, and
prepared our 18 month old daughter, Andrea, for the trip and moved to
Charlotte, NC to begin our ministry journey.
After dealing with a few circumstances, some of the members of the
church where I was to pastor helped us move into our apartment off of Arrowood
Road.
The next day was
Sunday, so we all got spiffed up and went to church for the installment
service. The representative of the NC/SC Fellowship was there to preach the
installment ceremony. He did a
fantastic job. The church voted me in as
pastor unanimously. The former pastor
even stood in front of the church and pledged his support for me and my
family. It was an invigorating
feeling. I had not felt such peace in a
long time, as far a ministry was concerned.
The very next day, EVERYTHING until this day, changed! Unknown to me, the former pastor had
constantly been on the phone calling every member of the church and telling
them he had changed his mind about my becoming pastor of the church. I had not even preached one single message
yet. To this day it is still unclear
(specifically) to me as to why he would turn on me so quickly. It still seems to have some supernatural
trappings. He called me on Tuesday night
(he couldn’t even speak clearly because he had lost his voice talking so much
on the phone) to explain that he didn’t believe God was leading me to their
church. My heart dropped. This man, who claimed to be a spiritual
leader, had been gossiping and talking about me behind my back for three days,
all the while claiming he was speaking for God in this matter, but what he
really needed was a good dose of Matthew eighteen. There is a right way to handle situations
with people, and this was not the way to do it.
The next morning I called the leader of the NC/SC
fellowship and explained to him what had just transpired. He proceeded to inform me that he didn’t want
to support a dying church, no matter how promising, and that if I chose to stay
there that he would withdraw support that was promised to me by the fellowship
of pastors. I asked him if the other
pastors who had encouraged me to pursue this course of action agreed with him,
and he said, “This is my decision. It is
final.” He said, “I’ve never seen a dead
church come to life, and you can’t do it either.” I then called a spiritual mentor
of mine and explained the situation to him.
I will tell you what he encouraged me to do, and then I’ll explain what
I now know I should have done had I known then what I now know.
He, my spiritual
mentor, said that I should share with the church that had just unanimously
voted me in as their pastor three days prior what the former pastor had done,
why it was wrong, and what my true vision was for the future. He then said to have them vote (I now know
that the vote had already been done according to the constitution of that
church and was binding; another vote was unnecessary.) as to whether they
wanted me to go or stay. He said to tell
them that if they voted for me to stay that we would have the support we needed
to be successful (even if everyone left, we would have had a paid off building
with which to build a new church). While saying this, I now know that had it
been Jesus Christ standing before the people, the result would be the same. The former pastor had an unusual stranglehold
on the people. What the people needed
was a leader who knew the purpose of the church and how to get them there. In retrospect, I should have held my ground
and stayed … trusting in God, not men to be my fortress.
So, as a young naïve man, that’s what I did. That Wednesday I stood before the
congregation, shared why I believed what the pastor had done was wrong, and my
vision for the future. I could tell many
of them were struggling to stand to vote me out. The wife of the pastor was the last to stand;
she had a very sympathetic look on her face toward me. It took a while for everyone to make their
decision. It was as if they knew this
was a vital point in the existence of their church. In fact, it was an instrumental time for the
church. Over the years the demographics
began to change into a multicultural area (not mostly Caucasian), and instead
of following the Great Commission and reaching the nations (people groups), in
2009 he sold the church for about a million dollars. He sent half of it to a church he was close
to and kept the rest to retire on.
Sadly, what could have been a church with a zeal to win people to Christ
and make disciples of the nations is now gone.
After the vote I walk
out of the church never to return. That event is what forever changed the
landscape as to how I look at spiritual leadership and making life decisions. I know that there is a possibility that God
could have been saving me from much heartache through following the advice
given me; however, there is also a part of me that wonders what would have
happened had I been given the advise to take true leadership of the situation
and tell the people that I’m here come hell or high water, and that I’ll
minister side by side with whomever decides to stay with me tonight. Today, that area is teeming with the nations
(people groups from all over the world).
The next week we met in our apartment to begin establishing
a church the way the leader of the NC/SC Fellowship had dictated. Only receiving $250 a week, it was necessary
for me to find a job to give us enough income to survive (had I stayed at the
church I would have had some supplemental income to help for that first year). The cheapest apartment rental in a safe area
was $800, and that was in 1995. Having a
Bible College degree, the only job I could get was to sale cars … the work
hours were 5 days a week 8am – 8pm. I
was considered over-qualified for Wal-Mart, etc. I visited and called prospects for our church
plant at every open moment. I spent very
little time with Karen and Andrea during that time. It is a blur in my mind to this day. We moved to charlotte with zero debt;
conversely, 9 months later, had incurred over $10,000 of debt to just
survive. This would not have been the
case had I had the full support of the NC/SC Fellowship to revitalize the
church in South Charlotte.
I have to add this for you to understand how this impacted
my future life experiences. The pastor that
gave me the advice to have the church RE-VOTE on me asked me to come and talk
with him … I did. When I arrived at his
church he began to tell me who much I didn’t know about the church and how
unprepared I was. Well, this floored me
for many reason. The first thing that
popped into my head was this: If I
wasn’t prepared, why did the executive committee of the NC/SC Fellowship
unanimously endorse me to be supported?
If I wasn’t prepared, why didn’t even ONE of the spiritual leaders
(pastors) pull me aside (after I shared with them the intimate details of my
vision and plans) and say, “You aren’t ready, son. Come work with me for a few years, and if you
believe this is what God still wants, we will help you get it done.” If I was unprepared, why didn’t the pastor
who was sitting across the desk from me invite me to learn from him? He had every resource to do so. None of that happened. I left that meeting asking God to show me, in
specific terms, what He wanted for me, since I was getting little help from my
spiritual mentors. Little did I Know God
was preparing me for events that would not happen until June of 2011 … and
beyond.
That brings me to 9 months later. I had been burning the candle at both ends
attempting to dig a church out of the ground (like the leader of the NC/SC
Fellowship informed me was his ideal) when I received a call from said
pastor. I was encouraged. It had been nine months and not a single
pastor of the fellowship had called me and asked me how we were doing. I thought to myself, “Finally … someone is
showing concern for our family.”
Not so fast! When we met for a meal, for which I paid, he
informed me that he had made the decision to stop our support at nine months
because we weren’t growing fast enough for him.
My world collapsed. I literally
could not see normally. I explained to
him all that I was doing to provide for my family and reach out to our area. I also reminded him about the horror story
nine months previously at Shopton Road.
He said the $250 a week had been more than sufficient, but that he now
needed that support for others. He
showed no concern. It broke my heart
that I’d have to go home and share this with my wife.
What happened next is
amazing! It goes back the talk I had
with God while walking out of the office of my spiritual mentor nine months
previously. God was beginning to show us
that He wanted us in the Charlotte area … even
though he was allowing some very “special” circumstances to take place. The very next day I received a call from a
church plant in Concord, NC that was interested in my candidating to be pastor
of their church. I preached three
services and was unanimously voted in as pastor. The only negative vote came from the man who
wanted to be the pastor of that very church.
This began a five year journey that God used to chip off the raw edges
of my life and build a spiritual leader that could mentor others … the way I
was not.
Enter … a true spiritual leader (mentor). About six months into my tenure as a new
pastor in Concord, I had an “accidental” rendezvous with Ken. My family was on our way to Sarasota, Fl, and
as we were traveling through Ocala, Fl., I called Ken to ask if he wanted to
meet us for lunch. This we did … and our
journey to getting spiritually FIT (Faith Influencing Today) officially began. Ken started investing time and money (plane
tickets, etc) into developing us into spiritual leaders that could influence
the lives of others. He was providing for
me and my family what hadn’t been supplied up until that point. He was investing LIFE into us! He didn’t just shovel money our way and hope
everything worked out; Ken and Karin invested their lives into our lives. It was an expedition that begun in 1996 and
has continued until this very day. No
other spiritual leader, or mentor, has loved us a truly and as authentically as
Ken and Karin have loved and cared for us.
Another God moment occurred shortly after the church in
Concord, NC voted for me to be their pastor.
Karen had applied to teach at a Christian School in Charlotte … which
didn’t work out … but soon after received a call from a school in Salisbury, NC
that needed her 2 weeks prior to school starting. To say the least … that was a miracle! It was a God thing! Not only did they give her a job, but they
also hired me to teach Bible. We had
gone from having zero options (as of the meeting with the leader of the NC/SC
Fellowship), to watching God pave the way for us. He met our needs in a way that could be met
by only Him. God was showing us He had a
plan for us in the Charlotte area.
We taught there for
three years until the school where Karen had originally applied called and
offered her a position to teach. This
was needed because our family was growing, and the school in Charlotte was much
closer to where we lived. Karen still
teaches at that same school today.
The third God moment that happened occurred when we had a
financial need of $1700 to be paid immediately. I went to the mailbox, and to
my surprise, found a check from a church where I had worked in 1987 for … you
guessed it … $1700. God was showing
Himself faithful at every opportunity.
Needless to say, our faith was growing exponentially.
We, purposefully,
stepped out of the pastoral ministry in 2002 in order to work side by side with
people in the secular workforce. God
allowed me to impact lives in every secular job I have ever worked. I “told” God that I would never send a resume
out and that if He wanted me back in the pastoral ministry that “He knew where
I was.” In 2011, as I was traveling to a
soccer match to officiate in Monroe, NC, I received a call from an assistant
pastor at Northside Baptist saying that he had recommended me to be a candidate
to pastor a church in Oakboro, NC. I
preached four times and they unanimously voted me in as their pastor that
June.
God is working in
amazing ways at www.mygraceway.com. We have taken three years to lay the ground
work necessary to impact lives. We could
not possibly be in the position we are in currently had we not experienced the
heartache and horror of the past. While
things COULD have been done differently, God is God. Nothing that happened took Him by
surprise. He used it all to accomplish a
work within us:
Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to them that love
God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
Philippians 1:6 Being confident of this very thing, that he
which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:
In closing, God used that nine
month period in 1995 to leave an indelible fingerprint as to how I
now think about Christian leadership and how God REALLY “calls” individuals
into the pastoral ministry. It impacts
practically EVERY decision I make and EVERY relationship I develop. I don’t want others to go through the horror
of what my family was put through. It
didn’t have to happen. It could have
been avoided. It is the basis of why I
am beginning my RU FIT Ministry – Curing Spiritual and Physical Obesity at www.rufitministries.weebly.com. I truly desire to influence individual
lives in a meaningful way.
May God honor the heart and intent of this letter,
Mark Harrell – Habakkuk 2:2
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